Wish me luck
I’m doing it. No for real! I’m doing it. I’ll get my ass in that flight, and talk to him. For the first time in twenty years I’m gonna talk to him. This time for sure. Alright I admit I’m scared. I feel a little lost but that’s something I need to do for my own good. I need to grow out of all these old feelings. Need to move on. That’s the only way out. I’m gonna do it. I know you all have your doubts. Thinking I’m not gonna make it. Believing, I’m not strong enough. You’ll better think twice. I’m gonna do it! And I’ll get stronger out then I got inn. I know, you all wanna see me fall. I know there are reasons why I shouldn’t go. But this is my life and I’m gonna do what ever I want, whenever I’m ready.you may not understand it. May not believe in me. May not care.Then just keep it to yourself. I don’t wanna know. I don’t wanna hear. It maybe hurt and I might wanna turn my back and leave. But this is my decision to make. Not yours.
I’ll do it when I’m ready. There ain’t a better time, there ain’t a better place. If not now then never.
You’ll never understand me. None of you ever listened to me. Never really cared, as long as I did as I was supposed to do. Now your afraid I’m leaving u. Afraid I’ll find someone who cares more than you guys did? I hope so. I still have hope that someone is able to see me for me. And maybe it’s not him. And maybe it’s him. Non of your business.I deserve more. More than you’ve given me.
I want y’all to wave goodby and smile. Being proud of me. I don’t hate you or him. But would I love you when my blood wouldn’t force me to? I guess we’ll never no!
So just say nothing.
And – wish me luck.
Waiting
Waiting. The time elapses. And I wait. I’m waiting for you to present yourself, to give me a sign. I’m waiting. That’s how it used to be for over two decades.
Things had changed.
Now you sit and wait, don’t quite know what to do with yourself. Checking your mailbox every day incase I wrote you. Looking regularly on your mobile phone, checking if I called. You’re waiting. At first, you were sure I would report you, she only needs a little more time you were telling yourself. However, with time the gnawing fear grow in you that you never hear from me again. But you can’t bring yourself to write a letter or even pick up the phone on your own. You’re waiting. Christmas has come and gone. New Year the same. Easter as well. Now soon a year has gone by. Just another year in which we both wait.
When do we stop waiting?
expressyourselfstopdenying 